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Tagged by HER - Lolz... 1. What is your dream when you were a small kid? er.. games? lolz... XD to play and have more fun? lolz 2. What is the happiest thing in your life? Meeting HER, Being with her.. and Living to Know more about God 3.What do you wish to have right now? Well, actully quite a few.. BUT.. All i wan from now until forever is HER =3 4.When was the last time you horse laugh? Seriously, i have no idea.. i think it was yesterday.. because of my friends made me laugh all night.. lol~ 5. What did you realise recently? That this holiday was so meaningless without HER.. and That i can't live without HER 6. Which bad habit in you is the most unacceptable? being too sensative? >< and messing things up.. 7. When you are unhappy, what will you do? I would only hold teddy and kept thinking of HER.. ='( 8.What are you afraid of losing? HER!!! I don't even care if i lost my computer my wallet my what ever.. just can't lose her. 9. Within 5 years, which target is the most realistic? er... Seriously again.. i have no idea~ LOL.... XD 10. When you met someone you like, will you profess or hide your feelings? er... i wouldn't wanna care much because I've already have HER by my side ^^ 11. List out 3 kind of people you hate the most. 1st is.. hmm.. Liars.. yes yes.. them!! Lol... 2nd.. probably will be those lame ppl who tries to show off.. 3rd is erm... well.. is.. erm... Ppl that doen't make any sense at all.. 12. Define lonliness. Without her.. without anyone by my side.. =( 13. Are you satisfied with you life now? well.. not really yet.. i still have so many things to do.. especially together with HER. =( 14.When is the most recent time you felt touched? When the day me and Her playing sms with long and touching messages.. XD 15. Where is the most beautiful place you have visited? Her HEART <3 16. A song that is playing in your mind recently Secret.. XD.. no seriously.. the song name is Secret.. LOL XD 17. If you had a wish that come true, what is it? That SHE would be very happy togeher with me. 18. Do you have anything to be worried or scared recently? NEXT YEAR!!! SPM!!! LOL!!! 19. If the world is going to end, what will you do? Hold Teddy and HER tight with me. Telling HER how much i love her and will never leave her no matter what. 20. Do you love the person that tagged you? OFCOURSE!!! SHE's my EVERYTHING.. !! =)
You're my angel of music. ♥
Well.. Lets see.. dont know anything to write much though.. >< Yesterday i've hurt HER again.. ='( why? good question.. It's because of me being so much jealous again!!! I don't know whats wrong with me la.. always being like that.. Why can't i just not be so sensative?? Why?? Is there a way to get rid of it? If yes.. I'd do anything or Give anything to do to get rid of it. So many things that im sensative to.. I'm really just trying to not bother so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But WHy is it so hard??? Can someone tell me how to solve? someone in a relationship perhaps? or have experiences like this? it really kills me.. and Her most important.. i don't want us to be so unhappy because of this stupid habit!!! I really don't want to scare her until Bad thing happen!!! Im really going crazy.. I've been thinking each and everynight!!! How can i get rid of this stupid habit!!! I love her.. i trust her.. somehow is because that im not comfortable is other boys are like trying to get close to her. I'm just really sensative because im scared that anything will happen!!!! damn!!! It's crap!!! i really can't take it!!! Damn it!!!! I trust you.. I believe in you.. No matter what happens you would still be together with me.. I just want to let you know.. I'm being like this is because im afraid they would hurt you. And trust me i know what kind of person are all those person im not happy with... not to say not happy with.. just kept thinking they would make you or something. I can't help it it's because i Must protect you!!! I can never let anything bad happen to you.. i Can't... Just want you to feel comfortable with me.. i know you can't yet.. It's because of ur age.. i know.. and I know as you grow you will be more comfortable with me. It's okay that you talk with boys or what okay? i just want you to know that im thinking of you every single time.. if its a bad person thats why im unhappy. I'm just going to change to be better.. no matter how. i will change.. for the better.. i know you would be more comfortable with me..
You're my angel of music. ♥
Now i found out that love.. Well, definately not just to Love the person.. But to think for that person. To care for them. Think on their side. I certainly didn't do that part.. All along i've been thinking that when we're together.. Means giving each other SO much attention. I Did that to her. But she didn't.. I'm not saying she's wrong.. But in another way.. Im saying I am the one who is wrong. Thinking that maybe she didn't give me enough attention meaning that im not important to her? >< That day i've been thinking.. and hitting back myself asking.. Would you only want to give her all your attention? In your life are you going to just be with her? Talk with her? Sleep With Her? Eat Wif Her? Everything else ONLY with HER? I then definately felt how she is feeling right now. I wouldn't want her to do everything Only wif me. What about doing other things? I'm just not thinking right. Then another thing i ask.. Would you want to spent your life Not ever talking to Girl? except for Her? Are You? Eventhough its a Yes.. I'm being selfish thinking that it's only fair that if She does the same for me not to go close to other boys.. I am so so so so Wrong. I should know better than keeping her away from all those. I've always been so selfish~ I never think for her.. Never think on her side of thoughts. Now i know.. I'm really really really really really trying to be better. I hope you know that. :'( I just want you to feel comfortable with me. Not to let me keep u to myself only. I realy regret i did something like this. I never thought i would do something selfish like this. I've changed to not to mind so much anything she does.. like talking to boys.. doing her things first.. or such.. I just have to change.. i can't hang on being the Yewhon who is so selfish. It's all about me i've been thinking.. but what about Her? okay okay~ I'll end here first... I now felt Love, I saw love.. :'( I'm Sorry dear.. I'm sorry i couldn't be perfect.. I really just wished that i am as Perfect as the Christmas Tree. :'(
You're my angel of music. ♥
Looks like Christmas had just pass... and School is starting soon already. Some how this year seems to be alittle different than the past few years. But YET... its also different becoz i had someone special with tme this year. Who is SHE.. =) eventhough its not nothing special this year but SHE made it different still somehow. Eventhough we couldn't meet up each other to celebrate Christmas together.. It's still one Christmas day i wont forget..but somehow she didn't have a great Christmas.. she was sad allittle.. becoz of something. School starting soon... First or probably the second time i would say that i can't wait for it to begin again~ Because i can see my Friends... and the Most Important is HER ^^ Well, im taking my driving license real soon.. hoping that i can pass real easily.. which i think i can.. =) and SPM next year.. Whew.. what a killer.. i dunno how am i going to survive.. But i pray that things would go well.. Things won't be so stressful and stuff.. =) Cant wait for School... Miss you dear...
You're my angel of music. ♥
What is love? What is called a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship??? By seeing a HOT guy or girl and tell them u fall in love with him/her? Bluffing that You love them becoz of who they are? Being together for quite awhile like 1 month? 2 month? 3 month max? or perhaps just few weeks..? is it a game? Because im starting to think its a game. Probably its not my problem or my business that people are doing like that.. But Whats the meaning of Love? I'm not saying that i know but all I know is that if both of you chose to be together.. What is there to fight and conclusion end up breaking up?? after that wad? got another new relationship in the next 1 week? 2? 3? Isn't it sickening?? My Brothers and Sisters.. if it's like that we should love each other as friends.. As families.. If you think both of you might have some problem and ending up seperating why would you choose to be together? if its yes being together isn't things should be working out fine? even if things don't work out fine, Do it together.. Solve it together.. does it even make sense??? What is all this... " I Love YOu Forever" ? " I will take care of you for the rest of my life"? or what about " IM being with you until the ends of this earth"? when you Boys say it.. You guys really mean it? Girls saying back that u love him.. u would be in his arms forever. What is all This " FOrever and Ever Baby" ?????????? If our Love for God is like that.. can you imagine how hurting it is? I've heard my friend saying so much love that God loves us and we Love God. God loves us as much as u can imagine the highest mountain to the ground.. he cares for us so much! God still accepts you if you ask him for forgiveness!! and He still Loves you So much as how he loved the others as well. Where can you find love like this? I believe in those true love being together.. I definately don't believe True love that has no problem. Problem comes because God wants to give you a chance to Endure! Obstacles come to everyone to learn to ENDURE~ Boys and Girls who read this and who are thinking of starting relationship or already in one.. Hope you guys understand what am i trying to point out here.. So what if you start thinking of relationship when ur in primary.. i mean as in stanard 5 minimum i think.. or secondary school? So what?? Endurance makes the difference of the others! I Believe that starting from secondary.. Why not? Im doing it~ and Im not afraid.. eventhough.. yes.. i made alot mistakes.. i really cant endure.. i know God is helping me.. He is right beside me.. pushing me back up~! LOVE is a strong word.. when You say I LOVE YOU to someone.. it really makes a difference.. Don't believe me? test it.. Go infront of ur fren say that.. see what happens.. but thats not the point.. SWT... Take things like this seriously dont you think its better? as in not just.. he dun uderstand me.. she dun understands me.. he doesn't care about my feelings.. and YOU DONT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT AND JUST SAY " LETS BREAK UP" whats the meaning? no meaning.. rite? people ended up gettin hurt.. crying all night.. even 3 months.. or plus.. i know.. do you know when someone get hurt.. as in love sick or probably sumthing else.. people get crazy? or maybe paralyzed.. do you know? but as in not paralyzed forever.. and not whole body.. i guess maybe hands? legs? or something. Im not saying is to force being together still if just for the sake of this? im just trying to say is.. Hang on wif each other.. Things really really cant work out.. then you think about it seriously.. =) With Love..
You're my angel of music. ♥
I don't want a lot for Christmas There's just one thing I need I don't care about the presents Underneath the Christmas tree I just want you for my own More than you could ever know Make my wish come true All I want for Christmas is... You I don't want a lot for Christmas There's just one thing I need I don't care about the presents Underneath the Christmas tree I don't need to hang my stocking There upon the fireplace Santa Claus won't make me happy With a toy on Christmas day I just want you for my own More than you could ever know Make my wish come true... All I want for Christmas is you You baby I won't ask for much this Christmas I don't even wish for snow I'm just gonna keep on waiting Underneath the mistletoe I won't make a list and send it To the North Pole for Saint Nick I won't even stay awake to Hear those magic reindeers click 'Cause I just want you here tonight Holding on to me so tight What more can I do Baby all I want for Christmas is you Ooh baby All the lights are shining So brightly everywhere And the sound of children's Laughter fills the air And everyone is singing I hear those sleigh bells ringing Santa won't you bring me the one I really need Won't you please bring my baby to me... Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas This is all I'm asking for I just want to see my baby Standing right outside my door Oh I just want you for my own More than you could ever know Make my wish come true Baby all I want for Christmas is... You All I want for Christmas is you... baby What does all these makes all of you feel out there?
You're my angel of music. ♥
I really don't know how to put it this time.. This way?, That way? Some Way? ='( I did it AGAIN.. I just don't know why do i have to ruin everything!!!! Damn it! Tell Me why!!! I'm really lost.. Just wished someone would give me a sign of doing something i should do that won't hurt anyone. I sat down since when she was i don't know.. Angry? sad? worried? sigh~ But she went to play badminton. I sat looking at the wall until she comes back like i cant remember 9 something or 10 something. She was fine by then.. so i said that i'm fine too since she's okay.. I'm the reason that she is sad.. She's the reason that i am Sad. She went to have her late dinner and bath.. So i went to have my dinner too.. Couldn't eat much.. But.. what the heck.. I don't deserve anything. I won't expect anything good. Because when I think about how much it will happen.. How much it WONT happen~ I asked her when would she go out with me. She said she has problem going out. Then she said that tomorrow might be going out with Sam. I don't know am i saying that right thing. I'm really disappointed that since the holidays started i've been hoping and looking foward that we will go out some times. At least just ONE time it'll be enough. But.. I'm guessing it might not happen.. Because the more i hope and the more i feel it will happen.. The more it wont happen.. Things like that happen in my life. It's like good things are not meant to come towards me. Im just clueless.. God.. please just give me a sign what to do. - Just wish.. MAYBE it'll come true.. =/
You're my angel of music. ♥
These days still being at home doing nothing much but talking with HER =P but that's all i can ask for because knowing that she can't always go out.. So i understand its hard. Days passing by after the week of sadness, things are going quite well can say. Well, erm.. Speaking of yesterday i went out to have supper with my parents and after i came back i looked for her online.. So we chat quite awhile then she had to off already. Not allowed to on until so late.. but ofcourse i have to agree =P haha. " Dont on until so late ah u " XD hahaha.... Anyways after that she miss called me and i was thinking either she's bored or something happen.. lolz.. guess what.. Shes bored.. =P hahahha.. But sadly to say is that i couldn't accompany her talking on the phone like before. Because before it was like we always talk until 3 or 4 am? or earlier lah.. haha.. But because of the phone bill increasement in Such a big number. So i had no choice but to cut down.. She has to do it too.. Sigh.. Yesterday i used my phone to called her.. But it was only awhile.. >< phone was almost out of credit.. i was so sad to know that she is so bored and i cant accompany her.. I felt bored too. All i can do is to think of her. Knowing how important she is in my life. And i know that she would be dissapointed that i couldn't accompany her long. Just hope we can go out.. Still hoping that we can go out and celebrate Early Christmas =) Missed You so much b... =/
You're my angel of music. ♥
I did it again yesterday... sigh~ i made her like that again... Whats wrong with me? i really duno whats wrong with me. I really cannot take it anymore! I went to look for Samantha because i knew she talked with her on the phone that night.. so i asked her to help me.. i ask her what can i do to not make it any worst already. She told me everything about what she think about me. I.. I had to believe it.. I thought of it whole day without eating drinking or whatever. I cant help myself that i cry. You know why would make a Guy cry? not by beating him up, or teasing him, or what so ever.. But the Heart. The weakest. It really kills when ur heart hurts and u cant stop but to cry. That evening i msged her becoz i really cant take it already.. I'm so weak that time. I said, im really weak right now. and I told her everything about me changing to be a better someone to her. I don't want the bad one. Thinking of it i was like a monster to her. I really dont want to be so bad to her! i can't help myself but to keep blaming meself again and again. So far until today it's still alright~ being happy with her.. At least we're not like before.. I Should say i was not like before already. The old Me.. It was long gone. I've changed to a better person to her. I just hope i can keep going like this making her happy for the rest of my life.
You're my angel of music. ♥
She's the girl who made me glad and happy.. She's the girl who made me much more alive when i was all alone dying.. She's the girl who made me had lots of hopes and dreams.. She's the girl who has lots of smile that i could look and smile back at her. She's the girl that i can only see when she is around. She's the light of my life. She's my Love and Forever Will be.. She is Yap Qi Rui.. My forever Love and SweetHeart. I can't live without her.. WHy? If i'd lost her i would have lost everything in my life already. I couldn't promise that i would make her the happiest girl in the whole world being with me.. but i promise that i will make her happy.. I asked myself for the past week.. I asked.. God gave me a chance to meet her and being together with her. It's like a dream come true. Nothing matters more except for her. What ever happens i really want to be there for her. I still remember one day she woke up she had a nightmare and she said she had tears coming out. I was in the middle of getting something important to be finished.. I stopped everything and called her.. Nothing really matters.. I'd give anything to just to have her being with me. She is really so important that i really really couldn't think of anything else more Important than HER. I asked myself also that what happens to us for the next few years.. All i know i was thinking was still being happy together with her. I don't want our relationship to end. Almost everyday I've beeng thinking things like this. Hoping that I can always make her happy everyday. But.. just these few days.. i made her cry and hurt.. i didn't want it again.. I'd really give anything to have the old days back. Just being happy.. talking on the phone for so long.. and spending time with her going out. She's just the person i've been looking to be with and i dont want to loose this chance.. I've been together with her and it will continue until the end. I loved her and Mised her so much until today. I missed her cause i didn't see her for so long.. just chatting.. I dont know how it feels like inside of me.. something really really weird.. but its alittle hurting.. i couldn't see her for 1 month its like.. i didn't see her for ages already.. I really missed her so much and hoping to go out with her again really soon. Why can't it just be like going out to the movies? walking around? going to prom nights? I really just wished that i can do so many happy things with her.. Going out most of the day.. ofcourse not everyday but i really want to.. asking her out just for a walk.. going to her house just to say i missed her.. going prom nights telling everyone that she is the most beautiful girl in that place and she is perfect to me. I just want to hold her hands for as long as i live. Sweetheart.. if u're seeing this.. I just want to say that i missed you very very very much.. as much as.. i dont know.. nobody can describe how much i missed you.. and You're really perfect to me. I Love You very much..
You're my angel of music. ♥
I'm really really really so down... aih~ i just hope God can heal me.. just wished anything that can heal me.. but whats the use? im not the one that matters.. its my gf.. aih~ I've hurt her so badly.. day after day... =( I really should have known to not promise something i couldn't do.. again and again.. i did it.. I broke her heart until the day that it Hurt the most.. I'm so lost.. I cant even believe myself that i did such a thing to hurt her so badly~ She couldn't stop crying.. I really cant forgive myself... and what did i thought of doing? yes.. killing myself. but it was when at the time i was thinking... There is one day i went to this Church Service.. I've heard of some experiences from other people.. Then, i was thinking the same thing. How could i waste my life just like that when i know that my Mom gave birth to me so hard.. and when God gave me this chance to Learn, To Live, and To Love. Haiz.. im really confused.. Im very confused that if i really Love her so much how could i hurt her so badly..? i cannot loose her.. I loose her I'll feel that i loose everything in my life. I really couldn't even imagine one day without her.. It's really heart painful. I really cannot stand it that day that she cried and couldn't stop.. she said that she's really really so hurt.. and dont want me to promise her anything anymore.. When i heard that sentence.. i was really.... aih~ u noe.. but i know that i deserve that. i really do. Until i really really want to make things right.. i kept telling her to trust me this one last really just one last time to let me proof that i will change. I'm doing it.. just that its like.. its not so.. still like that.. im really worried i would do it again.. I kept reminding myself how hurt would she be if i did it again.. I never wanna do it again.. i really cant let her be hurt again.. Day after day i've been waiting just to go out wif her.. i really have no interest going out anywhere else wif my frens.. even though if i go out wif them.. just dont feel so much of a fun or excitement.. i really just kept looking foward going out with her.. i really missed her.. i couldn't stop myself being down awhile missing her so much every single day.. Day after day i've really been hoping that she would say.. Dear.. lets go out together tomorrow or some day.. I kept looking at the calendar.. today is the 13th. Christmas is near.. Continue to wonder when will she want to go out with me.. I really just kept hoping for that day only~ I pray.. even though if its just one day.. even if its on that day of Christmas... It would really bring my hopes up really high back again.. i know she will go out with me.. the thing is just that i kept wondering when is it.. when is it... Until now.. well, i guess i can say that my life is still going fine.. i really just hope and pray that things really would come back to be like last time again.. i really just hope for that.. i nid some guidence from someone.. Im loosing my Faith..
You're my angel of music. ♥
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♥ The Musician
Bittersweet legal eighteen People wish me every year on 2404 Moving on to ICOM I'll treat you the same you do. :D ♥ Memoirs
→ November 2007 ♥ Buh-bye!
♥ Qi Rui ♥ ♥ Sing it out
Approx size of 190px ♥ Enchantment
Designed By: velvet-sky
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