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Sunday, December 16, 2007 at Sunday, December 16, 2007

I did it again yesterday... sigh~ i made her like that again... Whats wrong with me? i really duno whats wrong with me. I really cannot take it anymore! I went to look for Samantha because i knew she talked with her on the phone that night.. so i asked her to help me.. i ask her what can i do to not make it any worst already. She told me everything about what she think about me. I.. I had to believe it.. I thought of it whole day without eating drinking or whatever.

I cant help myself that i cry. You know why would make a Guy cry? not by beating him up, or teasing him, or what so ever.. But the Heart. The weakest. It really kills when ur heart hurts and u cant stop but to cry.

That evening i msged her becoz i really cant take it already.. I'm so weak that time. I said, im really weak right now. and I told her everything about me changing to be a better someone to her. I don't want the bad one. Thinking of it i was like a monster to her. I really dont want to be so bad to her! i can't help myself but to keep blaming meself again and again.

So far until today it's still alright~ being happy with her.. At least we're not like before.. I Should say i was not like before already. The old Me.. It was long gone. I've changed to a better person to her. I just hope i can keep going like this making her happy for the rest of my life.

You're my angel of music. ♥