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Monday, February 18, 2008 at Monday, February 18, 2008

today would be the 4th day we've been like this.. haiz.. >< i just feel differently us being like that... can we just go back? ='( im really tired of this already.. ='( i really felt something really wrong like this..

Its just not the same if we're like that.. ='(

Please forgive me dear.. ='( i Need You.. ='(

これらすべてのことを本当に残念によると私は..アイラブユー〜もうこれはそんなことはしないしてください。

You're my angel of music. ♥


2nd day without her..
Saturday, February 16, 2008 at Saturday, February 16, 2008

haiz... eventhough without her.. it feels almost the same.. but its NOT! ='( I really want her back... i've really told myself not to be like before d le...

today whole day been thinking... haiz.. i really wun be like before d.. i can't see any colour anymore... because you're the one that coloured my life.. you are my heart.. how can i continue on without a hearT? i really need you back.. i love you~

I really love you and i can't lose you.. not even for now.. not ever.. please forgive me.. i really want you back with me dear.. i love you~~

You're my angel of music. ♥


at Saturday, February 16, 2008

It's not even one day yet.. ='( i really can't live without you... please come back to me.. please.. ='( i promise it won't be like last time.. haiz.. i had enough le.. i don't want us to be seperated.. ='( i really cannot take it... i really cannot take it..

No matter Summer, Spring, Winter, or What so ever.. I Would still hold you in my arms never letting you be away from me.. I want to let you feel how much i love you

I promise i won't be like before being so selfish.. I just wanted to show you how much i love you and how much i needed you in my life.. I know that you know.. Please.. come back to me.. ='( I'll show you a whole new world not like before..

Please... i really need you to be in my life.. Not because i need you just for the sake of needing you.. but wanting you to be part of my life.. doing things together in the future... I love you~ Please.. i really cannot take it anymore... ='( my eyes sore.. ='( please..

I Love You.. ='(

You're my angel of music. ♥


at Saturday, February 16, 2008

No matter what happens to us.. I would still love you dear~ I only can call you dear.. i Wun wanna call you any other than that name..

i know for now we're just like that.. i know you wan it like that.. so i accept it le.. but i know after 1 or 2 weeks later we will be like last time again.. be better.. better even more~

for these few weeks i would never think of anything but just wanting to be with you okay dear? I'm never changing love for you.. I'm stuck to you.. i need you because i want you to be part of my life.. i love you because i want to hold you in my arms and care you..

I'll wait till after those 2 weeks later.. i promise.. i Will.. when we're back.. I'll show u i've changed.. i wun be selfish anymore le okay? I LOVE YOU.. even right now~ i couldn't sleep because i can't stop thinking of you.. don't cry d le okay? i've promise you and u have to promise me that too okay? just for 2 weeks later.. i know..

I love you... I'll catch you back and never letting you fall again dear.. Never..

Everything i've said really from my heart never a lie.. i really meant how much i need and love you sweetheart..

I

LoVE

YOu

FoRevER!!!!

You're my angel of music. ♥


Friday, February 15, 2008 at Friday, February 15, 2008

When you said you need me.. Do you really need me or you just say it?

When you said you loved me.. Do you really love me or you're just saying it?

Will you show me that i'm really someone to you? I just want to be with you.. You asked me to go look for my friends.. u just walked away.. I kept asking you.. It's not that i don't want to think its nothing.. But do you really mean it when you said all those? I feel like im no one to you.. ='( It really hurts me.. i treat you like You're my Everything.. No matter what happens I'll be there for you.. No matter what situation i'll be by your side.. Whenver Where ever I'll Always be by your side..

I just want to be by your side.. you kept asking me to look for my friends.. Theres chance and i want to be by your side.. How am i suppose to feel that you really want me if you keep asking me to find my other friends? i really mean it that i want to be by your side.. You said, Dont need accompany me wan ma.. but i said i really want to accompany you.. do you know what i mean?

I just hope you know what i mean.. i just want to tell you what i'm really going through right now.. it's so hard for me.. i know it's hard for you too.. im really trying so so hard thinking on your side.. but. you make me feel like I'm nothing much.. i Don't want to say how much it hurts or what.. because it doesn't matter..

I really hope when you said all those you really meant it.. whatever i've said.. how much i love and care about you.. IM SHOWING to you.. by your side..

Dear.. i really cannot take it.. the other day its not really just about those 2 that night.. its that.. you could go out and with them.. but what about me? ='( I'm always hearing Next Time ok? I really don't know when is the next time.. when im 20+? 30+? i dont know.. ='( i just don't understand.. if there is something ur hiding please tell me.. i'm really feel so bad..

If you ask me if i could accompany you go anywhere.. I'll just say YES.. because what i've said i really do it.. that i'll be by your side.. i know i'm just being so hard.. but.. i really cannot continue like this.. im tired of this kind of things.. i've always heard next time.. next time.. next time.. so many..

I'm sorry i've said until so bad.. it's not your fault.. i just want to say that's how i really feel right now.. I really really want to say.. fine.. lets move on... this doesn't matter anymore.. smile okay? =).. i really can't.. because i've said i'll be very honest with you.. and i really am right now..

I really cannot continue on going back home early and letting my parents see me sad like that.. I don't want them to be worried about me.. But what can i do? i really want to feel theres nth wrong.. but its really something that makes me feel so sad..

I really want to love being by your side forever.. i know you think the same too dear.. but can you show me at least something like that? ='( i Don't want to end our relationship just because of all these fighting... I'm tired of these fighting.. I want to end it~ please... ='( please tell me if you're hiding anything..

I've made a small video yesterday and i want to show you today.. its actually for valentines day.. i know the video is nothing special.. but i really did it with my heart.. i really do all i can to show you how much I LOVE YOU!!!!

Please.. Don't leave me.. ='(

You're my angel of music. ♥


Valentine's Day
Thursday, February 14, 2008 at Thursday, February 14, 2008

My first Valentine's day with HER... i know its nothing special.. i got her a necklace and letter and of course her fav..chocolate.. =) I really hope you love it dear..

And she gave me her heart and love.. Thats more than enough i can ask for.. i really mean it.. As long as shes happy being with me and loving me.. Thats all it matters.. and I would be the same to Her.. Never ending love.. Never changing love..

Eventhough i couldn't celebrate with her by going out like others.. i know next year.. i know~ we can go out together and celebrate.. i have faith in both of us..

The necklace i really wanted to leave it until we go out again and i help her to wear it... I wanted to do that so badly.. but.. >< i just don't know when is the next time we can go out dear.. i really don't know...

But no matter.. today is the first valentines day with her.. i really want to treassure it and let it be one of my best memories in my life.. i hope it is to her too.. =/ =)

I love you until the end.. no matter what happens to me.. or whatever happens.. I'd still love you until the end.. I will love you until even if the world had no love anymore i would still love you... that's all i really meant to say it.. every single time i say those 3 words it means alot of meaning.. but those 3 words explains it all..

I wish i could hold your hands right now being beside you.. =/

You're my angel of music. ♥


Wednesday, February 13, 2008 at Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Sigh... things just won't go right.. >< while school is going to end i was in the class.. i went out awhile and i saw her.. then i came back to the class then i kept looking outside.. i stand up and kept looking outside.. hoping that she can see me.. or better yet hoping i can see her.. =/

after school i was infront of her.. i don't know.. i felt like im just a wooden block that is blocking her way... then she walks away.. *grabs heart* i knew she was busy.. i knew.. aih~ i wait for her awhile even after i say i'm going off.. then i asked her that why like she don't even know me.. she was really busy.. i knew le.. i knew.. =( then she walked real fast.. and i hurry went up too.. thought just to say bye.. she ran so fast and i went up.. can't see her.. i don't see her anywhere.. ='( until i went back down.. i saw her coming down the stairs.. then i just say im off now..

aih~ its my fault le.. knowing shes busy all the time.. i'd still keep blocking her.. >< sorry dear.. i'm really sorry.. i just wish i could be noticed..

I wish i was as invisible as you make me feel.. but its not her fault.. its just me kept thinking like that.. i really don't know what else to explain to make people to understand how i feel.. i really can't.. ='(

我是不是很傻...? =/ keep thinking negative.. but i really did think positive so much.. i really din think anything bad.. just made me feel sad.. whatever i do.. i do it not just for myself.. but for you too.. no matter what i'm doing if anything happen to her.. i would be right beside her no matter what! i really don't know.. I really gave everything i have to her.. i put her first in my whole life.. i take this thing so real.. i'm not playing a love game.. i just want to live and be happy with her forever.. i never even ONCE thought we would end any soon.. thats why its for real..

我是很没用?=/ i've already done my best... and its not enough.. everytime when she needs me.. I've REALLY tried my best put down EVERYTHING and just concentrate on her!!! when she sms me.. call me or wad.. i PUT DOWN EVERYTHING!!! I don't even care if its so damn important that has to do with my life or what! ='( i really did my best dear.. can u see? ='(

I'm down on my knees... praying to God that everyday you'll be happy.. and i'd be happy together with you.. i just want to be like the normal couple.. being together happy holding hands never letting go..

valentines is tomorrow.. sigh.. i just hope at least just for tomorrow we'll be very happy just for once.. ='( i'm gonna give you something.. this thing i really wanted to help you to wear it.. but.. knowing i don't know when is the 'next time' we could go out together.. so i had no choice but just to give it to you like that..

i just pray.. please.. i just want both of us being happy.. anything tell each other.. solve it together.. Never hiding anything from each other.. i love you and i really meant it from the bottom of my heart.. i want to carry you up and i won't let you down..

<3 i just hope <3

You're my angel of music. ♥


Monday, February 11, 2008 at Monday, February 11, 2008

my friends tell me.. that.. the problem is.. the boy gets hurt real badly... why? its because my friend who is the boy.. who was really deeply hurt by the other girl.. why again u ask? let me tell you... its actually nobody's fault~

true love? Until now i won't say i know much about it even though im involve in a relationship.. is that.. 2 person loves each other and trust each other with their heart~ when either sides know they are still loving the same person or not as they use to? and continue saying loving him/her just because they promised each other forever... its really a fake..

please.. Boys or Girls!!! if you realize that you don't love Him/Her the way u use to! TELL!!! It's really hurting that each other felt different... as if they are just normal.. as in.. the boy would think she still love him... because he trusts her.. for BOYS SAME THING! Please.. tell each other how u all feel about.. It's really damn hurting if each other is lying to each other like that..

You're my angel of music. ♥


Saturday, February 9, 2008 at Saturday, February 09, 2008

Jealous.. jealous.. and jealous... sigh... What's going on inside my head.. i really don't know.. so many things that made me feel all so sad..

jealous that someone else can be seeing her.. sitting next to her.. comment her more.. or something else i couldn't imagine.. i just wish i could be like that.. i kept telling myself not to be sad or being jealous about it.. no big deal..

i felt that we're away from each other and not next to each other ='( i really just wish we could be like the others.. my heart.. cries for you.. i couldn't get rid of that jealousy.. all i wanted is just to be like the others... being away from each other im really feeling nothing.. i want to be next to you.. im scared that we're going to lose each other.. ='( its really heart breaking..

can anyone just teach me what to do? i fell, im weak, i can't get up.. ='(

it's all my fault.. please help me..

You're my angel of music. ♥


Sunday, February 3, 2008 at Sunday, February 03, 2008

Have i Lost hope?

Have i lost myself?

Have i ever thought what will happen the next day?

Theres so much things to think about... Why do i keep thinking so much?

Am i just creating troubles for myself.. or rather for others too?

Theres so much more things to figure..

Im even playing sudoku~ swtness~~

I just want to go on with a simple life...

i just want to live with HER

That's all im asking for..

Every single day i've been thinking what will happen next even if i were smiling..

sigh~ =/

You're my angel of music. ♥